Category: Ratties


367 days ago Sabrina Norton aka binna ,left me. Through mental hospitailization,homelessness giving up my rats (more like she said a rescue)) (bitch move) jail homelessness again and again due to you Sabrina. Yes this is directly to you gonna you have coated me countless heartaches home changes and with what did I ever do to you?? Truely you complaining cause you live in a boarding home. Which ended up being next door to my house to my landloard got me once again homeless. But fear no more I don’t live next to young for whatever reasons. Your scared of me get over it Ian am harmless…. so Ian going to post this via all the world to see like I have everything else. Still to this day I miss you and for a more fucked up reason I still love you dearly? .. how I wronged You Iy lilting seems I will never know. But Ian sure you will call in the restraining. Order you outrandishly have placed against me and am sure you will bring down fire and brimestone on me. But I all got you beat. Ill do Tue dirty workshop for you.and tell the police along with all the possiable peoplee you ajand me combined know just how much your abondonment of our relationship has mentally well fucked me up …worse part is I’d drop the world. Just to see you again.. but again I a but most impariatve bonetov pick you know the one where I remind you everything will comeback to you missery breeds missery and I’ve all paid mine up. And why do I still feel like I was victimized by you. Oh lets see you and me hooked up moved in togetherr moved around owned and lost cars pets friends and jobs and now a year later education cause of you I have nothing now but all your studlff still. Oh but I owe storage 159$so what do we do when we meet we were both good then you went ill I godly you well and you did just as Dr.grant said so you left me when I got worse and you got better…. but still I wish you in my life. And world be known I will be portraied as a crazed ex boyfriend obbsessed and this and that. Bit Ian not I want to know ands even publicly know why you left and why your so scared?after that ill stop posting (shit like this and ill hell I’ve already moved. Out of town cause you what more doyoy want?

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On 2/23/11, Christophrlee Sheek wrote:
> wow i never saw this one coming… which excuse are you going to give me??
> what did i do or what didn’t i do?? why fucking abbandon me like that? this
> is the ast attempt i shall make to recincile this relation ship after this
> if you do not respond within a day or two iam getting rid of everything. and
> i will start my j journey

Sabrinas respons i finally found it again
i an breaking the rules doing this and won’t be able to contact you
again but because of the kids i’m risking it. Please know i had to
make this decision for me and them. I have taken them from macs and am
working on getting them to a pet store for re adoption. This will keep
them safe and my hope is to get them back soon. I do love you don’t
think this was done out of anything but concern for my well being.
Maybe one day if things drastically change we can try again. I have
taken what i can and have to trust you for the rest i could not find
some things i would have liked to have but i can’t change that. I am
sorry for what happened with you and the hospital and for the steps i
will have to take for my safety. It’s finally time i take care of me.

>

To my Dearest Sabrina Norton,
Just going to say I will always love you, I am still in love with you,. it was a question, I asked similar to that a week before you left me in our relationship. You were unable to understand to true meaning of love,and the meaning of that question or you maybe never loved me at all due to not truly loving yourself.
If you feel like you had to leave out of fear of your safety, then I am guessing from the one response I have had from you which I can no longer locate in my archives of emails, you should rest assure I am not going to try and hurt you the ratties or myself. Fear not.please Sabrina, I am trying to get help from another agency outside (Tulare County Mental Health) its not easy. I don’t know who to call or what to say. I know now I wish I would of been more open minded, about the boarding home thing., now I am afraid to even call (tcmh) I know I need serious psychological treatment and help, but am to pridefull and arrogant and ignorant too, give in to what only; was setup to help people sick like you and myself. Cause to put up with me the way you did you have to be slightly crazy,lol.
How are the Ratties anyway’s?? I miss them all so fucking much I cry when I am alone and think how bad I treated them at times and how they still loved me unconditionally like they had Stockholm syndrome.
What does all this mean to you,i wonder??
My daily life, both mentally and nonphysical (being homeless) is a struggle beyond; what you ever knew of me before. The saddest thing is my family in (Fairfield,Ca) called and said I could move up there,’ (I even have my own room), and I had to break the bad news to them that I couldn’t go, until I serve my 4 months for the new weapons charge I went to jail for a few weeks ago. but it is still there,. Maybe just maybe that could of been you and I moving up there instead of myself alone,.?(“maybe one day”)
My phone number is the same (559) 736-4375 for now, however, if I happen to serve the time in-custody then who knows if I can keep the same phone number,still sorry I had to turn yours off I am sure you have a new number?,.
I am always going to be there for you as a friend like I am to all my other ex-girlfriends but you were like my first (Real-Spouse,/Wifey) I have never felt,love,hurt,and loss,or emotional detachment like this,before.Ever. And like you said in your email respone if things were capable of “drastically changing”, (I am thinking you mean,”my Behavior”) we would be able to at least date.but in reality I know you will or it feels like it at the moment you will never speak to me again.History proves it like (Lonnie) you blogged it on my_space a few days before your guy’s two year anniversary , that you were scared of running out on him,. Hmm sounds like a pattern, with the ever changing variable of crazed men gaining in degree with each relationship. You are part of it in every aspect but the only exception is; its not your fault you date losers “who promise you a garden of roses and deliver nothing but thorns”.
Nor do I blame you for not being my friend at all,. I believe your in a battered womans shelter or a strict boarding home maybe not though maybe your staying with new or old friends.?
I don’t blame you, looking back on how I treated you for the last year of our relationship. I now believe you stayed so long out of fear,for you safety and fear of being alone and homeless and fear of unknown period,cause at one point in time I was acting like the man you idealiey loved,but he seemed short lived,didn’t he? Saying the bold truth once and for all i know our relationship is over,and had been for many months before Febuary 23,2011 The man tularetomcat or lil,chris as saved in your phones contacts,the man you might have loved is lost in contrast of his disabling mental illnesses. All I will leave with is I love you and will always be there when your ready to have a friendship with me or maybe start over again on dating,. but i know better..love you Binna.

MyLife
Happens in my dreams
before I ever know what the dream was
Boom you probably heard me say dujuvu or something
it’s cause I dreamed it possibly years before
never know
never
always know i was there before it happens years before when i was asleep

Every single day has been lived like it were my last day, main reason why is when i am at my best I am unhappy. One thing I can never forget is how much it seemed like it would always be like, how too say “Okay”.
“How are tings?” (Tings are good), tings are real good. Yet no matter what is said and what is done I always end up alone and the last one standing. I recently had to go to the mental hospital technicalness against my will. it was either that or well i didnt want to find out.
When the last thing you go to sleep thinking about comes true later that day when you wake up, it scares you.! Scares you real good,like when your a child and hear of the boogie-man. I am not the most kind soul there is at least two women who can agree and say this man was a jerk and i am sure much worse.
These early morning blog postings wont last forever. this feels good getting it out bugging my ex-girlfriend telling her how much it sucks she bailed like a yellow belly coward, but i still love her. how confusing right? Right!

What is to say about what i am doing in life right now? my ears are open but you cant just tell me how to fix me, r what you (Whoever YOU Are) no you need to be there like Sabrina was there but not,. I think where she fell short along side of myself was; giving into labels and diagnosis’s and then allowing our-selves to be treated mainly Sabrina to believe word for word what a doctor says who is paid to help and paid to help the pill industry or the local political and state entities…
I miss my rats all ten of my rattie’s If Sabrina ever talks she might say I was going to kill all them and myself the morning she left, she was half right, forgetting that when i first wake up. See interaction with me is tricky. i can go from asleep to violent and aggressive outburst for no reason. (P.T.S.D.)
But Sabrina, my dear sweet ex who i still am in love with, has taking the road to better ground as she sees it. ???
What i did was stop believing in myself which was when i told Sabrina the truth during some long ago fight;Told that bitch everything i was doing wrong then re-rigged it and said i was lying. Well Sabrina what ever you were you were when i meet you and when you left me. living your life on rash decisions what ever the drastic changes are that you would want, well Sabrina without communication from you you will just watch me spyrle until i hit Rock bottom.

Nobody will ever fill Sabrina’s place in my heart but I need to finally let go and give up this semi-psychotic blogging to all known sites. Yup I have told way too much to the unknown public. however I am dying for comments and reply’s not that I want attention i want closer like i want To hold Sabrina one last time and say i love. But there will be another and who hopefully she will be even stronger-minded that the prior.
I wouldn’t be surprised if when all is said and done I am a (90) year old man asking a 26 year old what would he be doing if that man were ninety years old? ‘I would, still Be Chasing skirt”,. I was nicknamed TulareTomcat by one of Sabrina’s friends (Erica Fox) who is how i meet Sabrina, But carrying on Erica Said at one time “This is TulareTomcat,He will fuck anything with a hole and a heartbeat, heartbeat optional”. but the more ironic shit was Sabrina claims she tamed the TulareTomcat, well I say she played a cold game of catch and release. Correct me if I am wrong…………………….

Coming to from a numbing self induced frenzy i will realize i should of left Sabrina long time before she entraped us out past plaza dr, in Visalia ca which is like the far outskirts of town.,,..,. (side note coffee and cigarettes, Mmmm MMmmm Good) Knowing Sabrina tried to leave me once prior I should of sent her packing she was just waiting for the best time to leave me at my worse possible emotional state, when i first wake up…

Once again my mind is all over the fucking colorful place. Where i am trying to go with this blog posting is People call me up be my friend answer your phones and call a mutha-fucka back once in a while this is how the world stays in touch. The unnamed People who did this the day Sabrina left me saved my ass!! Point-Blank.

My phone number is (559)-736-4375 it hasn’t changed in 3 years i think? anyway it panns out I am needing advice, guidance and well i got plenty of charisma to go around
\\
well world been writing for over an hour and well past (my) bed time; Before sunrise… goodnight good morning and good morning Veitnam

So I’am such the bad guy
each night I get by
each day i die

How long to reunite
If only for a night
Maybe its new love in my life

The most shocking thing was waking up Tuesday afternoon with a Visalia PD standing over me and My Ex-Feinace in tow. My Binna left me,.
Knew it was coming one day looking back on when she tried to leave with the fucking Thunderbird before ,back in October or November it was. Only thing that stopped her that day finding out later, like a month,.Was she locked her keys in the car and I brought out, My Best Steed at that time my old Ford F100 Custom. Which I no longer have.
And lets bring up the dream you had Binna, when she told me about some (not her type guy) who paid me to leave her cause she wasn’t happy. Due to my economic failures and instabilities with my anger and lashing out at her verbally. That was a dream she said I really think that was when she gotten in contact with her possible new Bow( Mark) the guy who didn’t do shit for the computers cause instead helped bring her courage up to leave me. High and dry!
All these conspiracy, accusations is all I am left with to ponder on slowing driving me to leave the fucking county, cause Why when you I mean Sabrina came out to get her (Rescued) Rats from me and my Dubacual of anti-social antics.

Well owning up to my part in it all,. I am Chridifur, an alcoholic asshole who wakes up on the wrong side of the bed way too mother fucking often. So yes, I do slowly, now remember all the FUCKED up shit I said that morning to Sabrina but the thing was i sensed something was up when she was ram sacking the room for i dont know what./ oh yeah Sabrina i was not trying to hide your Lyrica from you but you damn sure didnt walk out in those boots which i still have maybe if I heard from you other than a restraining order on me thats why this is my blog and its read at your own risk. Shit as crazy as this and incoharant as this is I still love you Sabrina and miss you like you dont know. fucked thing is I know you will never come back to me I think at least not right now. you left me in the worse way possiable a sneak attack i didnt mean the shit i said that day or any other fucking time i was half asleep and again, I am sorry for it all but you left me. and then i flip the fuck out which might have been your’s and their (Mental healths’s) plan. I end up in the Mental Hospital and immediately faced Homeless upon release. Which we would of fought if you would have stayed if i’d of known you were abbondoning me.
Which is one of the thousand emotions that raced through me when i saw you really packing and said not even a reason why. Duh i walked out of the room pissed ,hurt,and overwhelmed. lost fuck if you would of said something an email, texted message anything i would not have gone off and threatened hellfire and brimstone to everyone. When Sabrina left I wanted to hang my fucking sorry ass, cause it was my fault “Binna left me”. But Binna left cause
with fear and feeling betrayed and am now currently Homeless ,. Oh and the Lyrica, You left it and I accidently packed cause even when, you did pack that morning and that afternoon you left in my opioion more important stuff like your familys airlooms the last two things you have from your mom her tennis racket and the GODS which i will once again hold for you.
The most important thing is i wanted to let you know I am not mad at all still hurt and feeling bamboozled by the whole thing but fuck it i will do with you like i do all my ex’s- I will still be your friend like you had brought up a week before all this shit of your storm started. Hell I tried to give you the opt out plenty of times but you always had to do it your way. and this is why “it is what it is”.
So call me someday and time near future Sabrina Michelle Norton,. Oh and yeah your phone can be turned on and paid by you or whoever, not like you ever used it anyways. I didnt report it stole or anything like that and i even waited till well yesterday when i took All my computer shit down and swaped it for the bill

still love you

My first Dumbo rat Mystique make’s me wish I could, contain her in solitary confinement cage, or remover her from the rattie community. As I type this I curse and swear to Mystique; “I will either breed her!, or make her fight to the death, Hahahahahaaaa”,lmfao.
This is of course just my way of, venting all my frustration and anger, by blogging this crap out. Which has been built up for unknown amount of time.Mainly with Mystique. Better, Out than In right? .,Cause If i dont have a way to channel this fear, hurt and frustration out. Then what//? The World is lucky it shall not find out,…..
Mystique is the first rat i wish to cross the rainbow bridge if any at all,. Which is FUCKED UP! for me to say and think about. Sorry Binna . But Don’t like the ratties crying. and just want the ratties to play nicely together.

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