Category: Audio Rants


Let the video speak

On 2/23/11, Christophrlee Sheek wrote:
> wow i never saw this one coming… which excuse are you going to give me??
> what did i do or what didn’t i do?? why fucking abbandon me like that? this
> is the ast attempt i shall make to recincile this relation ship after this
> if you do not respond within a day or two iam getting rid of everything. and
> i will start my j journey

Sabrinas respons i finally found it again
i an breaking the rules doing this and won’t be able to contact you
again but because of the kids i’m risking it. Please know i had to
make this decision for me and them. I have taken them from macs and am
working on getting them to a pet store for re adoption. This will keep
them safe and my hope is to get them back soon. I do love you don’t
think this was done out of anything but concern for my well being.
Maybe one day if things drastically change we can try again. I have
taken what i can and have to trust you for the rest i could not find
some things i would have liked to have but i can’t change that. I am
sorry for what happened with you and the hospital and for the steps i
will have to take for my safety. It’s finally time i take care of me.

>

To my Dearest Sabrina Norton,
Just going to say I will always love you, I am still in love with you,. it was a question, I asked similar to that a week before you left me in our relationship. You were unable to understand to true meaning of love,and the meaning of that question or you maybe never loved me at all due to not truly loving yourself.
If you feel like you had to leave out of fear of your safety, then I am guessing from the one response I have had from you which I can no longer locate in my archives of emails, you should rest assure I am not going to try and hurt you the ratties or myself. Fear not.please Sabrina, I am trying to get help from another agency outside (Tulare County Mental Health) its not easy. I don’t know who to call or what to say. I know now I wish I would of been more open minded, about the boarding home thing., now I am afraid to even call (tcmh) I know I need serious psychological treatment and help, but am to pridefull and arrogant and ignorant too, give in to what only; was setup to help people sick like you and myself. Cause to put up with me the way you did you have to be slightly crazy,lol.
How are the Ratties anyway’s?? I miss them all so fucking much I cry when I am alone and think how bad I treated them at times and how they still loved me unconditionally like they had Stockholm syndrome.
What does all this mean to you,i wonder??
My daily life, both mentally and nonphysical (being homeless) is a struggle beyond; what you ever knew of me before. The saddest thing is my family in (Fairfield,Ca) called and said I could move up there,’ (I even have my own room), and I had to break the bad news to them that I couldn’t go, until I serve my 4 months for the new weapons charge I went to jail for a few weeks ago. but it is still there,. Maybe just maybe that could of been you and I moving up there instead of myself alone,.?(“maybe one day”)
My phone number is the same (559) 736-4375 for now, however, if I happen to serve the time in-custody then who knows if I can keep the same phone number,still sorry I had to turn yours off I am sure you have a new number?,.
I am always going to be there for you as a friend like I am to all my other ex-girlfriends but you were like my first (Real-Spouse,/Wifey) I have never felt,love,hurt,and loss,or emotional detachment like this,before.Ever. And like you said in your email respone if things were capable of “drastically changing”, (I am thinking you mean,”my Behavior”) we would be able to at least date.but in reality I know you will or it feels like it at the moment you will never speak to me again.History proves it like (Lonnie) you blogged it on my_space a few days before your guy’s two year anniversary , that you were scared of running out on him,. Hmm sounds like a pattern, with the ever changing variable of crazed men gaining in degree with each relationship. You are part of it in every aspect but the only exception is; its not your fault you date losers “who promise you a garden of roses and deliver nothing but thorns”.
Nor do I blame you for not being my friend at all,. I believe your in a battered womans shelter or a strict boarding home maybe not though maybe your staying with new or old friends.?
I don’t blame you, looking back on how I treated you for the last year of our relationship. I now believe you stayed so long out of fear,for you safety and fear of being alone and homeless and fear of unknown period,cause at one point in time I was acting like the man you idealiey loved,but he seemed short lived,didn’t he? Saying the bold truth once and for all i know our relationship is over,and had been for many months before Febuary 23,2011 The man tularetomcat or lil,chris as saved in your phones contacts,the man you might have loved is lost in contrast of his disabling mental illnesses. All I will leave with is I love you and will always be there when your ready to have a friendship with me or maybe start over again on dating,. but i know better..love you Binna.

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