This hit me today like a piano dropped from a very tall building. As it was put to me in a visual example, the mess that was on the floor in my garage and the disorginized tornado of my shelves and so on, all represents me.         And where in myself does it represent? it is the psychological mess i’am still stuck on and in and around. 

  One name,  (Sabrina Norton), my ex-fiancé, but what my friend said to me in this new perspective I’ve  never thought of was,  “she represented to me in myself image a person iam scared i will never be again without her in my life.” So it is like that ol’ methophorical frieght train hitting me again.  iam still so stunned i do not know which way i can handle this.  Otherwise i’am Jaded.
  The mess my life is now, and the way my room/garage had become is a sad, distracted disorginized, cluster-fuck that lacks sleep and order, among the isolation and the self-abandonment i endure nothing tourtures me more then. the  fact that after ten months,  with only seeing (Sabrina Norton) once during our court proceedings, the most coincidental accident occurs Sabrina and i happen to be neighbors!  ahhhaa what a fucking conspiracy only a god could imagine, not even Stephen King,  could think this up.  Cause all these ten months Ol’ Sabrina  has been hiding from me,  and what oh what does she do moves onto my block. 

to be continued