So what we have here is some of the most realistic shit to ever happen to me. Yep i don’t know what to say other than i feel like a piece of shit at times because in all i have not meet up with my own standers of being a man.? How is this one might ask? well at the moment iam unemployed and not even tiring to hustle to keep whats mine. This is almost like self inflicted suicide well that’s what suicide is; self inflicted i have barely looked for a fucking job after being laid off of my painting crew. I have this huge fear when it comes to putting in applications but every time i get someone willing to help it always falls through to where they can’t or they won’t for some fucking reason i really do act like a child when this comes up i can work just getting the job is the hard part. Once i have it i never get fired i quite first or just get laid off from working under the table this does sound crazy but its what has happened this last year before that i would just hustle for whats mine i didn’t care if it was dumpster diving or stealing and selling the merchandise i got what was mine.this is how it should be i should go back to what else i know and sell drugs or try to run guns but that is too movie like and carry’s a big of a prison sentence as stealing does for me. Since i already have prison priors this whole not having income shit makes me feel like a bum and a mooch which I am not if that were the case i would have shot myself long time this sounds all bad but for some reason there is always a happy ending for me. well talk to you later world